Soul Pancake Bites: #2- Overreacting

When is the last time you overreacted? Was it worth it?

Me being me, I tend to get all up in arms first and think about it later, especially if it is a topic that I am passionate about. Things like birthing, breastfeeding, homeschooling, vaccinating, gentle parenting, arts education, animal welfare, Spanx... these are all things that I will get on a soap box about. 

Yesterday I was confronted about one of my personal beliefs and actually tried really to be diplomatic and informational instead of confrontational. I posted an article about Radical Unschooling on my facebook page about how there are some serious drawbacks to demanding blind obedience from our children. Right away 2 people who I was "friends" with said that you need to make kids be obedient or else they will run wild, etc.... I wrote back and explained that this is a completely different school of thought and is the exact opposite of being neglectful or not parenting. Well... it was like talking to a brick wall (or 2). Right away I was told that this was nonsense, it couldn't possibly work, and that basically you have to show kids you are the boss. 

So I had 2 choices: Write yet another response and hope that maybe there would be a crack in the wall or just let it go because some people don't want to learn, they want to prove that they are RIGHT. Well.... I not only didn't respond to the posts but I also deleted them as friends. And then I took it a step even further and posted this on my page: 

ok friends, here is where some of us have to part ways. This is my space and I don't really feel like I should have to censor my beliefs on parenting, religion, etc. You are more than welcome to read my posts or ignore them, be curious, ask questions. But if you obviously don't agree with something, that is fine, don't read it. I am not going to try to convince you otherwise but I am not going to have a debate to defend my beliefs. I will gladly share my research and answer questions though!

Yes, it was my temper coming out because I then went on a mass deletion spree and took off all the people who cause me to censor my articles, thoughts, etc. Surely, I overreacted to 2 people arguing with me about an article- I could have just said nothing and gone about my merry way. But, what about the next article that I found about gentle parenting? Or the one connecting the Hep B vaccine to SIDS? Why should I have to hide the research I am doing because there are some who are too close minded to consider, even for a moment, that there is another way to do things than how we were brought up?

I fully realize that sometimes I would be better served to think first and then act accordingly, after I think things through. But at least in this instance I feel a little lighter in that I don't have to carry false friendships where people are just bringing me down. Definitely overreacted but well worth it!

How We Roll

Don't mind the messy playroom in the background!

Klint brought out his old video game system and introduced the girls to old school gaming, lol.

The played Donkey Kong, Ninja Turtles, and so much more...

Even Moira got a controller of her own and would glance at the TV

to see what was keeping her sisters so entertained. 

Both Gabby and AJ loooooove games, they ask for our phones all the time,

and have a DS to play on as well as the Play Station....

we are all novice gamers!

Just another day at Casa de Krebs!

Our Week...

We played, we cleaned, we cried, we laughed...

we watched our newest member of the house play with his fellow felines,

we worried over Miss Moira's mysterious allergy,

we slept in and stayed up late.

It was an interesting week!

Soul Pancake Bites: #1- The Soul

Well here is the first set of activities I am going to tackle, a simple thing really- the soul. 

What is the soul?

What drains the soul?

What recharges it?

What does your soul look like?

I think that the soul is that essence that makes you, well... you.  It is unique. It has nothing to do with the physical body as reasonable people will agree that very beautiful people can have evil souls and vice versa. It is that awareness of a self. A soul is all those memories wrapped up in a package, making your personality and choices complete the picture.

“Run your fingers through my soul. 

For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, 

perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand.”

For me, it is soul draining to see people hurting each other and the world around them and to feel helpless. To see violence, despair, especially concerning children. Negativity is very soul draining in general. Feeling defeated is also a big factor. To feel caught up in a web where there is no escape or silver lining.... however, as easily as it is to see the bad, there is always the good. (Yes, I am the eternal optimist.)

Recharging my soul means remembering the good in this world. Seeing the beauty, finding those little things that make me happy, like quiet mornings and comfortable sweatshirts. Taking a sip of my favorite drink and savoring the goodness in it. Looking at my children and knowing that there is nothing more beautiful or special in the world to me. 

I believe that if you looked at my soul it would be a mess of colors. For the most part, sunny yellows and tropical blues. But there are those dark spots too, regrets, mistakes, doubts that hold me back. There would be snippets of all the good and the bad that make up me. Snapshots from all my memories that shape my daily life. That is my soul.

** See, now wasn't that fun?! If you want to join in, please comment and let me know you also tackled this activity. :P

If you really like this, go grab your own copy of Soul Pancake!

My Perfect Book

Today we went to the library, same as we do every week. And, true to my form, I picked up random books solely based on their cover. (I do this with makeup, food, etc- if you look interesting I am attracted!) Well I get home and we immediately start looking at all of our finds, perusing the books and settling in for reading time. And I may have found my PERFECT book! It is a book that makes me think and has all the elements of something that will hold my attention- quotes, typography, photos, questions, poetry...  I am in loooooooove!!! What is this book?

This thought provoking book is like a journal, poetry book, art portfolio and more rolled into one. There are creative challenges, list making, explorations and BIG questions... like "What does Art have to do with the Soul?" .... Huge right?!

Anyhow, since I have this book in my possession I am going to try tackling some of these activities here on the blog. Feel free to join in too! I will call them my Soul Pancake Bites...

I can't get over how much there is to see in this book... really see. I have a feeling that this is one of those rare finds that will change how I see the world and myself. I can't wait to get started!

I Just Don't Get It...

*This regularly scheduled program is interrupted by the following random rant. 

Proceed at your own risk!*

I just don't get the world sometimes. I don't understand why people bring children into this world and see them as a bother, something to boss around and treat however they wish without regard to the simple fact that kids are people too. All of these shows and books are created to "fix" children when the cold hard reality is that it is ADULTS who are ruining children. It is adults who are making our nations children devoid of creativity, violent, sick with toxins, obese, depressed. It pisses me off!

And then there are those adults out there who are so mean, cruel, and inhumane that I have to take a moment to process what I actually just read. Tonight I had the displeasure of learning of a blog called Mama Tao. Apparently this woman's goal in life is to mock and demean all those hard choices that a mother makes for her children, including but not limited to  VBACs, vaccinating, water births, and natural childbirth. She believes that basically we (we, meaning those who went for an all natural birth, read Ina May's work and praised the heavens for such wisdom, and who question vaccinations) have all been drinking some strong Kool-aid and are to blame for lies?! I felt like I needed to bleach my eyes out after reading just one post, and it got worse with each post there after. It was vile.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think of all those people who are cheering about the fact that there are restaurants who ban children under the age of 6 from eating there. While we're at it, let's ban people over 65 because they are loud, rude, drop things, spill, and sometimes even have accidents! Gasp!!! Makes sense right? And then can we ban people who are developmentally challenged because really, they are loud and can possibly ruin my meal as well... and so on and so forth. Ugh!!

So yeah, I am pretty fed up with the majority of adults I know. I could go on and on and on about this, on any given day. From the random woman who tells me that I am doing Gabby a disservice by homeschooling her to the well meaning friend who thinks it is dumb to question doctors because they have the PhD and I don't.
But I am going to stop now and take a deep breathe and remember that it is because of these people that others work so hard to educate the public about the topics that are important.


Thank you for listening to this random rant, tomorrow we will continue our regularly scheduled program!

On Saturday...

This past weekend I had the joy of having a wonderful little picnic with some wonderful sorority sisters of mine. We met up on a not so sunny, kinda chilly summer day at the beach, ate some great food, took photos, saw some weirdo teenagers taking photos that borderlined on creepy, let our kids play with each other, and laughed like we haven't laughed in about 9 years! It was fabulous, to say the least.

Heather and her little boy, Sam

I love that I can pick up right where we left off, no matter how many months or years it has been in between chats.  These ladies are friends and sisters in the truest sense of the word. There is nothing that I can't tell them and nothing I wouldn't do for any of them.

Carena and Miss Moira

Carena and her daughter, Hailey

Sam decided to take Leslie for a walk, so cute

The girls and all of our babies! Leslie and Heather are expecting little girls this fall!!

It was so nice seeing everyone and I know now that we are all having our families and growing up, we will see each other more often. I especially love that my girls will grow up with aunts who will look out for them and care about them as much as any family would. Thank you ladies for a lovely afternoon!!

Plank Pulling: Self-Hatred with a Side of Cream Cheese

"The one day a week that we strongly resolve to ignore the multitude of specks and sawdust around us and pull one bona fide plank from our own eye." 

Today's plank isn't one thing but a whole bunch- body image, beauty... 

As a dancer there is a preconceived image that you are supposed to fit: tall, skinny, chestless, long-limbs that are full of power. You are supposed to survive on only salads and water, be a size 0, be lithe and waif-like. Nothing like me. 

I will fully admit that I struggle with loving my body, fighting my genetic makeup of shortness, curves, and a chest that Victoria's Secrets cannot contain. I tried to will myself into an eating disorder, as bad as it may be, because I did not look like a dancer. My calves, instead of lengthening with barre work, bulked up like a gymnasts. My muscles get large and prominent instead of long and lean. I hated looking at my reflection in the mirrors everyday in class. Yet here I am, 20 years into dancing, and even though I may not look like a dancer- I am a dancer.

I try very hard not to let my girls hear me say negative things about myself because I don't want them to think those things about themselves. I know that my girls are beautiful, there is no question. Yet, I know that society will tell them that they are not pretty enough, thin enough, tall enough, not enough... I don't want to set a bad example. But inside my head I say those bad things about myself, and I need to stop.

So what if I am not 100lbs? I can palm the floor with ease. Who cares that I am not the smallest size on the rack? I have three beautiful girls and earned those stretch marks proudly. And I know that I can't do a darn thing about my height other than laugh when I try on "capris" and they hit the top of my foot. =)

When my girls see themselves in the mirror I do not want them to pick themselves apart like I do, I want them to stand strong and healthy. Yesterday Gabby had a wipe out on her bike and got a pretty good scrape across her face. It darkened today to include a purple-ish colored eye... but to me she looked even prettier because those marks didn't stop her one bit. She asked for a bigger bike for her birthday!

First Road Rash ever!

That is the attitude I want to have... happy with what I got and just aim for a more healthy lifestyle!


Do you have a plank to pull? Hop on over here to read Jen's and to share your own!

Thank Goodness That Is Over!

Well so ends my hellish days of trying to balance a 10 hr job, a baby, a hubby who works third shift, a home daycare, and sanity! I am done for the season with dance photography, my family that I care for is moving to Chicago so their last day was yesterday, and it should be smooth sailing from now on. I was happy to have the extra money, but the stress it put on the hubs and me was just too much with Moira being so little and dependent on me. Now onto dance at a fabulous new studio (I am no longer at Rock City... long story and not worth the aggravation), Gabby has tons of t-ball games coming up, and I am ready to just relax a little. =)

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In keeping with our No Junk Eating Out theme, tonight I made an awesome dinner (if I say so myself!): Chicken Taco Salad with fresh avocado, tomato, tortilla chips, and a salsa ranch dressing! Yum! Fresh fruit salad and peach ice tea and it was a great end to our day.

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I have always been a city girl but lately I have been wishing for a bit more space and breathing room... less cranky neighbors who tell my children to not turn around in their drive, more space to garden... I imagine that I would look like this- Farm Wife Chic!

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I have been reading so many great posts lately about homeschooling, gentle parenting, and just things that leave me feeling all warm and fuzzy... here's my faves right now:

* I am 100% stubborn too- tell me I can't so something and I will set out to prove you wrong.... love this!

* In general I love reading this series from SoulaMama, but this one just made me smile for days...

* Gardening is so much fun, I want to make some of this so my hands stay nice!

* Finally, this article just made me really think about why it is so important to treat your child like a friend instead of an indentured servant... great read!

How was your day/week?

Living a More Authentic Life- Part 1

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, 

instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

 ~Judy Garland 

Lately I have been thinking about how my life is going and what I envision my life to be, if the world was perfect. Everything from where I was living to what I looked like and the kind of job I had. It didn't surprise me to see that I don't need to win the lottery to have that life, that many of the things on it were things that could not be bought and that I already had. I have happy healthy children, a loving husband, a career in the arts... I fully realize how lucky I am. But some of the things on my list are things that are fully attainable, I just had to make some changes. I am going to be writing about some of those changes, as they happen. Not only to share, but also to hold myself accountable and to hopefully keep up with them. 

The first change is sort of a biggie for us. We are cutting out all junky fast food (i.e. fries, burgers, milkshakes, Taco Bell, take out Chinese, pizza, etc). We made the decision years ago to throw out the fryer and we never regretted that decision, however we have been letting others do the frying which is just as bad. Convenience, price, and pure laziness on our part has led us to eat wayyy more fast food than I would like to admit.

Documentaries are always popular at our house and we have seen quite a few food related ones. Last week we turned on Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution and haven't stopped talking about it since. (Did you know there is HUMAN HAIR in the shiny coating on candy and chocolate?!!!!) Not only did Jamie show the actual amount of fast food a family was eating (which, sadly was very similar to our eating habits) but he filled their home with a year's worth of fast food... ick! 

I love Burger King Whoppers... let me just get that out right now. I love fast food in general. I hate the time it takes to cook, the mess, and the fact that many times the kids don't want to eat what we make. But, I also hate going to the doctors, needles, buying larger clothes, and giving all my money to companies that are using dog food grade beef to make my food. So.... I can easily adjust my attitude towards cooking to make my family healthier and to get myself and my husband to a healthier place. We have the physical activity stuff down, we are a pretty active bunch, but we are sabotaging it with all the junk.

I have armed myself with cook books that are easy to follow and have kid friendly recipes, made a shopping list that passes through just the perimeter of the grocery store and then goes to the farmers market and Trader Joes, and have gotten the kids really excited about these changes.

I am starting out with baby steps... making it all the way to the 4th of July is my first goal. In the meantime I am going to get into a routine of packing lunch when I am at dance, having meals planned out, and making sure that we are home for meals so that we don't get caught out and turn to take out for convenience. Wish me luck, this is going to be a challenge, but one in our best interest!

Hola!

I have some new things in the store... =)

a one of a kind Fairy Door

and I am now making Little Nook Fairy Doors, 

perfect for staircases and tiny spaces.

I love the Happily Ever After Door. 

It makes me smile with the sunshiney yellow color!

I have another crazy week coming up, 

last of the dance photo shoots but 10 hr days,

kids to care for,

plus a teething baby...

so forgive me if I'm not around too much....

I will be thankful to get through these next 3 days with all my sanity

and my hair free of greys! 

Are you looking forward to the upcoming week?

Whew!

Oh my goodness. what a week! I had some crazy hours assisting at the photography studio and then the dance recital for Rock City Dance. But now I get a week off and can catch up on my housework, blogging, and get my craft room in some semblance of order.

Gabby had her photos taken for T-Ball this past Saturday. She looked so cute and grown up with her new haircut! (Her hair was reallllly long but was constantly snarled and icky, so I chopped it off for her!)

We went to a community event called Meet the Trucks, a very popular annual family funtime where all the trucks from the community gather to let kids see them up close and even sit in them! Everything from SWAT cars to city wood chippers, along with local services and schools join in on the fun. AJ got really excited about the Roller Derby girls and Junior Roller Derby Girls. I do believe that it would be the perfect sport for my little bruiser- fun names and beating girls up!

Miss Moira has been having a great time, riding on the hip in our favorite ring sling. I can't believe that she is officially 6 months old today! (Official pictures to follow!)

Well, that's about it. Some other pretty cool things are in the works, but more about that once I get the details finalized. Talk to you all later- have a GREAT day!

When Morning Has Broken

Sorry it has been a few days friends.... life got a little crazy for me and I had to take a few days to sort myself out. Between the dance studio recital, photo shoots, and some stuff going on at home... my thoughts are like the waves on a stormy sea.

It is in times like these that I rely heavily on meditation, my friends, and my "silver-lining" outlook on life to keep me from running for the hills. I can easily get too caught up trying to perfect everything, keep everyone happy, be the super-mom that is expected, and then I find myself in the midst of a mental breakdown. I have to remember to take a deep breathe, remember that I have had so much more placed on my shoulders and was just fine, and take everything one item at a time.

I really appreciate all the kind words you all leave me, the thoughts, inspiration, and love that I feel from my friends. Right now, my life is weighing down on me and I am struggling to figure out how to untangle the strings. In a way I am thankful for the craziness of dance recital time because once again my craft is helping me through the rough patches! Thank you and the normal, ever-cheerful Connie will be back tomorrow. Kisses, hugs, and well wishes to all!

Today I am....

:digging: this Ultimate Lego Roundup! I love playing with Legos and the girls!
:watching: Gnomeo and Juliet and remembering my first encounters with this famous play... I cried at the end...
:dancing: to this song. I want to not like her music but I just can't help myself! 
:reading: this book that I totally picked up because of the cover. I am addicted to Russian ballet stories that take place during the Romanov era!
:loving: this swim suit! I think it would flatter any figure... even curvy, " recently had a baby" ones!
:eating: french toast and mango- yummo!
:wishing: that the days would stay this springy, the kids would stay this little, and time would stop marching on across my face!
:hoping: that my knees hold out with all the dancing I am going to be doing cause it's a lot but I love it!
:making: some pop up cards thanks to this tutorial
:browsing: over this new website, lots of kid-related eye candy to see!
:cleaning: out the girls dressers and closets... seasons change and the girls are growing out of sizes so fast...
:craving: some more color in this house. I am strongly considering painting my stairs like this...
:learning: more about vaccinations and the risks they pose to our children, all starting with this website.

What are you doing today?

Plank Pulling: Courage Doesn't Always Roar

“Promise me you'll always remember: 

You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." 

                                  Christopher Robin to Pooh

A fellow blogger named Jen does a feature on her blog where she does something called plank pulling. She writes, "The one day a week that we strongly resolve to ignore the multitude of specks and sawdust around us and pull one bona fide plank from our own eye." So I am here to pull out one of my own planks- my lack of courage.

Most of my close friends can tell you that when they need someone to give them a piece of courage I am always there. Whether it is someone pushing them around, some well needed advice, or just a push in the right direction, I try to give some gusto to whomever needs it. But when it comes to myself, I don't take my own advice. I cower, defer, avoid, and generally let people walk all over me because I don't want to be disliked and do not like confrontation. 

I let parents, whose children I care for, not pay me when they pick up their kids late. I don't ask for raises that I deserve because I don't want to make waves. I avoid mentioning that we homeschool if I don't think the other person will be understanding. And I don't breastfeed in public without a cover because I don't want to deal with the stares and disapproving looks, especially because Miss M is a casual drinker and likes to drink then look around a lot. 

But I know I NEED to stand up for myself and our family values. I am so very proud to nurse my baby because I know that it is best for her and me,  I love homeschooling Gabby and AJ- I wish people did not have the stereotypes that they do about it, and I need to stop letting other people take advantage of me. Sigh... my head knows all these things but my gusto goes with the wind when push comes to shove. 

I realize a lot of people would say that I actually have a lot of courage- I stood up for my daughter's education and despite a lack of support from most friends I did what I had to do to make sure she was happy and loved learning. I was the one who told my teachers that we were being abused at home and needed to get out. And I stood up to my OB/GYN and left her practice when I was being forced into a c-section based on convenience instead of need. But... it is all the little things that I lack the courage for, things that aren't really hurting anyone unless you add them all up. Then they do matter...

So I guess that I need to start taking my own advice, strap on some cajones, and realize that the only person I am hurting is myself when I don't stand up for my beliefs and values. Cheers!

5 Things I Know for Sure

There are some days when I feel like I don't know a darn thing, but here are 5 things I know for sure:

1. Nursing clothes are pretty blah unless you know where to look... I NEED this sundress in orange and this awesome nursing bra! Who says you need to dress plain and dull if you are nursing?!

2. I am over all the rainy weather Cleveland has been getting! This fort-making bag makes a super gift and until we can garden for real I am making this gardening sensory bucket for the girls to play in.

3. There is something about homemade sweet tea that just makes everything right in the world. This awesome white tea make such a refreshing cold brew! And if you are needing some activities to do with your tea-drinking kids, check out this month's Action Pack from Whip Up. (Pssst... go here to get a code for 20% off the $5 Mini-mag... what a steal!!!)

4. Days are flying faster than I ever thought possible. My oldest girl now can ride a bike without training wheels and my baby is 5 months old today. When people tell you to cherish these days because they fly by, believe them!

5. Even when life gets a little crazy, fate hands you the tools to right yourself again. I have found my parenting inspiration, got an additional job teaching at a local dance studio, met new neighbors, planted flowers that will make my days sunny and colorful, and am surrounded by great music that lifts the spirit.... it is so very good here.