Today's plank isn't one thing but a whole bunch- body image, beauty...
As a dancer there is a preconceived image that you are supposed to fit: tall, skinny, chestless, long-limbs that are full of power. You are supposed to survive on only salads and water, be a size 0, be lithe and waif-like. Nothing like me.
I will fully admit that I struggle with loving my body, fighting my genetic makeup of shortness, curves, and a chest that Victoria's Secrets cannot contain. I tried to will myself into an eating disorder, as bad as it may be, because I did not look like a dancer. My calves, instead of lengthening with barre work, bulked up like a gymnasts. My muscles get large and prominent instead of long and lean. I hated looking at my reflection in the mirrors everyday in class. Yet here I am, 20 years into dancing, and even though I may not look like a dancer- I am a dancer.
I try very hard not to let my girls hear me say negative things about myself because I don't want them to think those things about themselves. I know that my girls are beautiful, there is no question. Yet, I know that society will tell them that they are not pretty enough, thin enough, tall enough, not enough... I don't want to set a bad example. But inside my head I say those bad things about myself, and I need to stop.
So what if I am not 100lbs? I can palm the floor with ease. Who cares that I am not the smallest size on the rack? I have three beautiful girls and earned those stretch marks proudly. And I know that I can't do a darn thing about my height other than laugh when I try on "capris" and they hit the top of my foot. =)
When my girls see themselves in the mirror I do not want them to pick themselves apart like I do, I want them to stand strong and healthy. Yesterday Gabby had a wipe out on her bike and got a pretty good scrape across her face. It darkened today to include a purple-ish colored eye... but to me she looked even prettier because those marks didn't stop her one bit. She asked for a bigger bike for her birthday!
|First Road Rash ever!|
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