Tonight my mind is not feeling creative in my usual artsy way. About this time for the last couple of nights my head has been full of designs for Christmas cards, invites, and more designs for my Etsy store. But not tonight....
Maybe because I am feeling a little under the weather, or because I am finding myself quickly coming to a crossroads with our children's educational choices, or because I have spent the last hour reading so many things that have gotten my mind whirling.
Did I mention that we have gotten rid of TV as a whole? Not even basic channels. Part of the reason was cost (why on earth would I pay $25 a month to watch a show that is only mediocre?) but the other reason was for not just our kids but our whole family. How can I tell my daughter that it isn't nice to sass us when she likes shows where the characters do the same thing? Or that everyone is beautiful in their own way with all the reality shows out there proclaiming that you have to fit impossible standards?
Tonight I read a blog entry here that opened my eyes to how I view my post-baby self and the possibilities to what can be. I can change how I look at tasks like running, cleaning, and my own self image. A great quote that I read tonight is: "We all choose our own pain, whether it is the pain of self discipline or the pain of regret."
I am taking that quote further than my own self by applying it to the crossroads with Gabby's schooling. I have had a very negative feeling about the school's program and her teacher from the start of the school year. From things like knowing that she will only get art 1/4 of the year to seeing papers come home with -3 written at the top for missing some tricky answers. (A picture of a hat was missed because the in looking for "c" words Gabby didn't realize that a hat is also called a cap") I don't think that it is acceptable for papers at such a young age to academics should be graded in the negative... what happened to asking, "I see that there is a picture here, what do you think this is called?" and seeing WHY she didn't circle that picture. We have been in school for less than three months and I have had more complaints about what is going on than I care to share.
So now I am thinking about alternatives to the norm of public schooling. Montessori schools, charter schools, home schools, unschooling... things that I once knew nothing about but are being examined thoroughly. Lucky for me I have a good friend who is a pro at this "not public schooling" thing....a friend I once thought was really radical and sometimes nutty (you know who you are darling!), but now is making prefect sense to me!! I am struggling with breaking free of the norms of society, thinking about critism from friends and family, and rationalizing that I need to do what is best for my kids.... I know I will get it together though.
I have no set path yet, but my mind is definitely off and running!!