Friday, March 26, 2010

How Do You Say Goodbye?

How do you say goodbye to someone that you know is leaving you too soon?

My husband's grandmother, Grandma GG to the girls, was diagnosed with 
Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer about 3 weeks ago. 
This wonderful 85 yr old woman was before that time in tip top shape for her age.
Of course she had some health issues, diabetes and such, that she kept under control
but she didn't have anything pressing her to the door.
A month or two ago I did notice that she said she was tired a lot, but GG
(whose real name is Betty Jane by the way... isn't is so country?!)
tries to do way too much and doesn't like to be coddled. 

Then came a fall down some stairs, a trip to the ER, and this...
all of a sudden she was frail, in pain, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
I hate that part... the helplessness...
Everyone has their own way of viewing death, and Buddhism sees it in a very positive light,
which is ok for me...
but how do I explain it to the girls?
That is where I am struggling. 

Gabby is too perceptive for me not to tell her what is going on, at least in broad terms.
And I hate that this is going to hurt her and cause her pain.
We haven't had to deal with death yet, not even with the pets....

I know that this beautiful, talented, warm hearted woman will end up right where she is supposed to,
and that we should at least be grateful for the warning,
but I am so scared to lose the woman who has filled up the holes left by my own family. 
I want her to continue to sing reaaalllly old fashioned songs to the girls,
watch them practice their dance moves
and cook farm food for this "city gal". 

The only thing that I can hope for is that she is comfortable,
that Hospice can manage her pain,
and that she can see the girls one last time.
If you would please light a candle, pray, whatever,
I know that my dear husband and I would appreciate any thoughts.
Thank you.


CarzooCritters said...

Your family is truly in my thoughts and prayers, she sounds like like a wonderful and loving woman! You wrote so beautifully about her. I wish you all well!

Tati said...

Oh, That's very sad! I hope she can live a little more time.

FionaChan said...

good luck and I hope she gets well soon.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry. We are praying for peace for your grandma and your family.

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