Friday, March 27, 2009

OMG Funny of the Day

I was blog hopping and came across this delightful blog- Sex Education's Perfect Example (You have to go there to see why the blog is named this!) I was reading the most recent posts and this one not only caught my attention but made my want to shower and laugh hysterically at the same time. This blogging lady is definitely worth a peek simply because she is f'ing hilarious!!!

(Her comments are in red and yes, this is a REAL ad from dear Craigslist!)

Nitpicker wanted

Date: 2009-01-22, 10:57AM PST

The Hair Whisperers (the new name for little insects eating your scalp...they aren't eating, they're "whispering") Lice Removal service is looking for someone to remove lice and eggs from people infected with lice. Qualified candidates should have valid driver's license (because you aren't qualified to pick lice off a kids head if you aren't smart enough to pass a driving test), great close up eyesight (those fuckers are tiny), feel comfortable going into people's homes (unless you can convince the infected to maybe meet you in a park or something), be personable (because really, what else are you gonna do besides talk while picking lice and eggs off a person's scalp?), good with children, and extremely detailed oriented (wouldn't want to miss one of those buggers). Squeamish people need not apply (if you're squeamish, you probably haven't made it this far into the posting). A good sense of humor a plus!
This job would be for supplemental income (because you're on fucking crack if you want to do this as a full time job). Great job for stay at home moms looking to make extra money (and the opportunity to bring the lice back to your own home to infect your own kids! Weeeee!).

Compensation: $50 an hour (not bad...but still not enough for me to do it.)
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster (because they don't want no one stealing the best of the best lice pickers away from them).
Please, no phone calls about this job!

I promise I did not make this up. Not even I am that creative.
I can't even imagine telling my other Mommy friends what I'm doing on the side for extra money. Here's how the conversation will go...

MF (Mommy Friend): "Man, this economy sucks. We're so strapped for cash lately."
Me: "I feel ya, sister. Thank God for my part time job!"
MF: "I didn't know you were working part time? What is it that you're doing? Taste testing Bailey's?"
Me: "Ha! Only in my dreams. No, really, I'm picking lice and eggs off of infected people's scalps."

That's where the conversation would end because she'd be packing her cute little Skip Hop diaper bag and pounding the pavement outta there. And then me and Lukey and Avie Baby would be left all alone. Blacklisted from the other Mommies and kids. And Luke would probably be teased as the Lice Kid or something equally as horrible. Ok, so maybe I'm getting a bit dramatic but you see where I'm going.

And can't picking lice off people's scalps be compared to say, picking crabs out of people's pubes? Equally gross, right?

Shower anyone??? Happy (and lice-free) Friday to you all!


Amy said...

Thanks for the shout out and glad I could make you laugh!
I'm also enjoying your blog! I love having another blog to stalk. Maybe even more than nitpickers loving them some lice!

J. Leigh Designz said...

HA! You crack me up girl!

Leah said...

wow! I think I puked a little! yuck, but hilarious. you weren't kidding when you titled this post "OMG Funny"


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