From the Best of Craigslist

Spacious Studio Igloo

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Date: 2010-03-01, 8:10PM EST

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Looking for a renter for a 70 square foot igloo (4' x 5' entrance tunnel, 4' radius living area.) An excellent choice for EMU art students as it is located right next to the Ford Building on Eastern's campus. Quiet neighborhood consisting mostly of squirrels. Heat, plumbing and electric not provided.

Water included (must be melted by occupant.)
Includes hole in roof for bonfires to prevent asphyxiation.
Neighborhood security provided free by campus police.

$200 a month OBO.

*Landlord not responsible for property melting.

W. Cross Ave at Normal St. (google map) (yahoo map)

• dogs are OK - wooof
• Location: EMU / Ypsilanti
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

(I love reading this stuff when I am bored!)

and then there is the not so pretty....

This store is another reason why I love Etsy.... there are some interesting people out there who are even MORE interesting when you let them create! I have seen some real pieces of "interesting art" on my other favorite site Regretsy, "a place where DIY meets WTF!", but sometimes you just come across someone whose shop makes you want to donate money to them to see a therapist. Take this listing for instance: 

Isn't that the funniest thing you have ever read for a jewelry shop?! And here are some of his policies... I don't think I have ever laughed so hard!

Welcome

this is garys shop. i make jewelry. i hope you like it

Payment

i only takes the paypal. i dunno how to do anything else. kevin made this for me.whatis this 8088 design thing. i better go talk to kevin. i just asked kevin he said its his business name but this isnt kevins business this is my business.

Shipping

i use mail. if any of you could tell me how to send jewlery through my comcast box i would be really happy.

Refunds and Exchanges

you break it, you buy it.

Additional Policies and FAQs

these necklaces took a lot of time and i am really proud of them. this site is not a joke stop asking me.

Well after seeing this shop and knowing that Treasury West will be opening up soon I couldn't resist making a Regretsy Inspired Treasury! So click here and prepare to be amazed that someone had the "uniqueness" to make these!
Enjoy!

Note to Self...

Who goes there??

Oh mom, it's you! What? I am not supposed to be in your light box?

So you probably don't want me tearing up the paper and making a mess in here like this huh?

Aren't I so pretty though?

 (Don't mind the torn up light box behind me!)

NOTE TO SELF: Put light box back UP when not in use!!!

My Kind of Technology

12 Rules for Life

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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; It's on loan to us while we're here ...even our kids.

12. And finally...Be really good to your family and/or friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

and just because...

Useless Humor- Everyone needs some!!

Sitting here after a long bath in a kick ass bathtub, a bottle of Arbor Mist (yes, I am a weinie and drink cheap wine), and the house livably unpacked... life is pretty good.
So I am back to surfing through Stumble and have uncovered another hidden treasure trove of useless, funny stuff. Drunk off wine, this stuff is even funnier! Here are some gems from UselessHumor.blogspot:

Idiot: "Honey, this is a win-win.
Either we get free power,
or we can sue the power company for any (unlikely) injuries I might get."

Wife: "Here just sign this........
termLifeInsuranceForm.....
I mean, birthday card, before you go up there."

Yet another reason why I am a Target-girl!

There is an unemployed editor somewhere responsible for this.

Strippers and children's birthday parties... a little something for everyone!

I love comedians!

This makes me laugh so hard. I love comedy and I love ethnic comedy even more. How have I not heard of this guy before?? Who is your favorite comedian?

Random Thoughts from Yours Truly

I am feeling very random right now....between packing for the move, taking care of 5 different design jobs, embroidering, and playing my new addiction Sorority Life on Facebook... random is where I am at!

Did you know that the sausage patty at McDonalds is 919 calories??? And that the Deluxe Breakfast is just about 3,000 calories? Yep, it is true! Needless to say I will not be partaking in this anymore... I do not want my kids to look like this!
***(I highly recommend to anyone who has the iPod touch or an iPhone to get the app called Lose It....tells you the caloric value of LOTS of food, fabulous tool for anyone who keeps tabs on their diet.)***



I decided that I really want a Kindle2 for Mother's Day. I read A LOT, love listen to audio books while I sew, and prefer to use electronic books since I have so many favorites. The Kindle2 is great, will read audiobooks to you, and best of all the books are cheap. (You reading this hubby??)


If you are a visual learner like I am then here is a website for all of you who are taking finals soon or know someone who is- Flashcard Exchange. What a great idea! I lived off my flashcards in college, (along with my Anatomy Coloring Book!) and think that this website is one of those great tools that not enough people know about!

Ummm...let's see... what else.... I am sure that there will be more, that is just what was going through my brain! Ciao!

Another Missed Connection on Craigslist

Just when you thought that the first date couldn't get any worse:

To the woman that crapped in my car.

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McFadden's sharing that basket of jalapeno poppers while drinking Guiness. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early.Touché.

I can already imagine telling the kids about how mommy and daddy met...hahaha!

#1 Worst Food in America

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Inspiration Tuesday

I am always looking for inspiration. I love looking at a blog design or a logo and thinking about how I would change it, what would make it more appealing to me, or what the designer did that is so eye catching.

I just registered with a site called StumbleUpon, which is a very cool site that allows you to rate site, blogs, photos, everything. Then they will send you weekly emails with site that they think you will enjoy. Today I got a list of some awesome sites and wanted to share a few with you, because maybe if they appeal to me they will appeal to you!!

I highly recommend Stumble for any of you that love just wandering about the web in search of your own inspiration. Think of it as a compass pointing you in the right direction, but not telling you exactly what you will find when you get there!

Here are some of my finds:
1. Ultimate One Color Logos- Fabulous site for logo inspiration, just great design, no bells and whistles. This one is my favorite.

2. How Long Could You Last On a Gay Pirate Ship- funny quiz....'nuff said!

3. TypeNow- tons of free fonts...I love the famous ones like the Adams Family font!

4. How to Make a Branch of Paper Cherry Blossoms- super cute, super easy. I love crafts like this...minimal supplies and a very cute outcome!

5. Wedding Favors: How I Gave the Entire Wedding Party Diarrhea- the entire store made me giggle from start to finish!

6. DontClick.it- Ok, this is my personal favorite today....human psych has always intrigued me and this website challenges one of the most basic of human habits, the Click. Everyone who uses a computer frequently know that to navigate around a website you have to Click around, that is, press on buttons to go to different places and see different information. BUT, what if you didn't have to Click??? Go check out this site and find out!!!

Oh and please don't forget to answer my poll on the sidebar under my friend's links.... VERY important! =) Ok, not really but I am curious about what everyone will say!

Whore-Out Weds...ummm Friday!

Ok, I know I am late on this...but oh well, my life is nuts- deal with it!!
This is a new thing that I picked up from Sex Education's Perfect Example...
and it is hilarious to do.
Try it, you may like it too!

Today I would like to whore out my friend/sister/confidant Carena. She doesn't blog or Facebook... it took forever and a day to get her on Myspace (and then we all left...hahah). But without this wonderful sorority sister my life would be tea-less, my kids would be "auntie-less", and I definitely wouldn't have a dog. She is that skinny bitch that everyone would love to hate if she wasn't so nice, I mean really... we used to leave Whoppers on her doorstep with notes that read "EAT ME". (Ah those were the days!) She is selfless when it comes to her dogs and her foster dogs, and even more importantly she has the patience of Job when it comes to working with special needs kids. Seriously, everyone needs a "Carena" in their lives!!

So here's to you sista! You can now tell all the gals I whored you out!

OMG Funny of the Day

I was blog hopping and came across this delightful blog- Sex Education's Perfect Example (You have to go there to see why the blog is named this!) I was reading the most recent posts and this one not only caught my attention but made my want to shower and laugh hysterically at the same time. This blogging lady is definitely worth a peek simply because she is f'ing hilarious!!!

(Her comments are in red and yes, this is a REAL ad from dear Craigslist!)

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Nitpicker wanted

Date: 2009-01-22, 10:57AM PST


The Hair Whisperers (the new name for little insects eating your scalp...they aren't eating, they're "whispering") Lice Removal service is looking for someone to remove lice and eggs from people infected with lice. Qualified candidates should have valid driver's license (because you aren't qualified to pick lice off a kids head if you aren't smart enough to pass a driving test), great close up eyesight (those fuckers are tiny), feel comfortable going into people's homes (unless you can convince the infected to maybe meet you in a park or something), be personable (because really, what else are you gonna do besides talk while picking lice and eggs off a person's scalp?), good with children, and extremely detailed oriented (wouldn't want to miss one of those buggers). Squeamish people need not apply (if you're squeamish, you probably haven't made it this far into the posting). A good sense of humor a plus!
This job would be for supplemental income (because you're on fucking crack if you want to do this as a full time job). Great job for stay at home moms looking to make extra money (and the opportunity to bring the lice back to your own home to infect your own kids! Weeeee!).

Compensation: $50 an hour (not bad...but still not enough for me to do it.)
This is a part-time job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster (because they don't want no one stealing the best of the best lice pickers away from them).
Please, no phone calls about this job!

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I promise I did not make this up. Not even I am that creative.

I can't even imagine telling my other Mommy friends what I'm doing on the side for extra money. Here's how the conversation will go...

MF (Mommy Friend): "Man, this economy sucks. We're so strapped for cash lately."

Me: "I feel ya, sister. Thank God for my part time job!"

MF: "I didn't know you were working part time? What is it that you're doing? Taste testing Bailey's?"

Me: "Ha! Only in my dreams. No, really, I'm picking lice and eggs off of infected people's scalps."

That's where the conversation would end because she'd be packing her cute little Skip Hop diaper bag and pounding the pavement outta there. And then me and Lukey and Avie Baby would be left all alone. Blacklisted from the other Mommies and kids. And Luke would probably be teased as the Lice Kid or something equally as horrible. Ok, so maybe I'm getting a bit dramatic but you see where I'm going.

And can't picking lice off people's scalps be compared to say, picking crabs out of people's pubes? Equally gross, right?

Shower anyone??? Happy (and lice-free) Friday to you all!

Conquer Cravings! Tips from Yours Truly!

By now statistics show that most people have given up on their New Year's resolutions. Of course the most popular ones are to diet and exercise more. I can honestly say that I am keeping up with my vows to go to Zumba more often than not and to chill on the goodies after 8 pm.

In college I tried to get an eating disorder (apparently all the dancers are doing it!) but thanks to my supreme lack of self control and will power I was the ballerina with the loaded bagel and full fat latte. It is just not in me to deny myself yummy goodies all together. But here are some tips I have picked up to help curb the cravings when I am bored or upset.

1. Go paint your nails!
It is hard to eat with wet nails.... if the craving lingers add a top coat.
2. Brush your teeth.
The minty-ness will squash any food cravings for sure.
3. Go find your favorite pair of jeans and think about how sexy they make you feel.
4. Put on some music and dance! Can't eat and dance can you?
5. Find your guy and seduce the heck out of him...bye bye cravings for food!
6. Sure, you can have that brownie/ice cream/cake.... go eat it by your kids though
and you will surely have to share at least 75% of it!
7. If all else fails, call your best friend, confess your cravings,
and let her talk you out of them!

Epic Fail

"Epic Fail" is a pretty common phrase in our house, meaning something does not go according to plan in a really bad, messy, or disastrous way. And today I discovered a blog devoted to all things "FAIL"- failblog.org I love pictures that are sarcastic, smart assed, and humorous. Videos are even better! Here are some of my faves from the site:

OMG of the day! (UPDATED!!!)

I love sarcastic humor, the kind of humor that says what I am always thinking but am too polite to say. Today I found a seller that represents my kind of humor to a tee. WryandGinger take some simple vector animal images (which you all know I am a huge fan of), give them personalities similar to Foamy the Squirell (for those of you not schooled in the humor of Foamy go to here), and slap it all on a card perfect for giving to that nasty coworker you had to buy a gift for or to your hubby who just F'ed up for the hundreth time that day.

Come check them out and laugh your ass off like me! These cards for stay at home moms are my favorite by far, fabulous humor!!

My Tantrum

I want, I want, I want,..... that seems to be all I hear some days (especially days when I am caring for other kids). Even from my darling husband I hear I wants.... I want to play WOW, I want to go here, I want 8 hours of sleep... it goes on and on and on.... well here is what I want!!

I WANT people to stop questioning my faith and my spiritual choices!
I WANT parents to teach their kids some manners and to stop feeding into bad behavior
I WANT to take a bath BY MYSELF
I WANT someone else to clean up the table after meals
I WANT the cats to scoop their own litter
I WANT to go to Alaska and see a whale
I WANT to eat a Whopper and not worry about how many calories is in it
I WANT the new Harry Potter movie to come out earlier then next July
I WANT a whole nights sleep, without tears and delirium

I realize that none of these are going to happen, but I figured that it was worth a shot.... Now that I have yelled I WANT I feel much better now!
What would your tantrum be?

Conversation of the day

Klint: I think I want to join the Air Force

Me: Why? (this is nothing new, Klint is constantly thinking of joining a branch of the military)

Klint: To get the Army Advantage

Me: (stare at Klint dumbly until he realizes what he just said makes absolutely no sense)

Klint: Oh.... and that I why I would make a great Marine!!

(pause)

Klint: I should buy a boat!!

This, my friends, is why my life is really a sitcom!